I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
