I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
