Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
