check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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