Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
