I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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