belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
tell me about the eggs
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
