big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
