then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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