Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm too high and old for this...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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