Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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