i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Can Purell be used as lube?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
