hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
