just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
