so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
