Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize