College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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