How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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