it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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