Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
