guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
