my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
bring money and cleavage
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
