margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize