i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
