You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
