I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
ttyl tear gas
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
