don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
