The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
