If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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