Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Everything about him screamed your future.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
