i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
