Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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