im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I don't deserve a penis
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
