So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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