THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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