I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
