I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
