Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
