Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize