Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize