do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
