So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
