She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
