I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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