After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
well you can't waste a boner
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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