Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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