walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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