She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Randomize
