You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
