Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
