She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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