what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
