ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
