I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
