no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
40s are totally the cure
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
