for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
