i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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