If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
