Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
A+ Viking dick
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
