You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
